|disclaimer-this isn't the original camellia I painted-it died!|
I decided to go back to the camellia I had started in class almost two weeks ago. It actually didn't look too bad. I hated to "mess" it up. And I was trying to remember that lesson as well. Watercolour often requires waiting, waiting for a section to dry.
When I started drawing I realized it wasn't that simple and when I started trying to get the colours right in my painting I realized it really wasn't simple.
Watercolour painting required patience and I am not a patient person. Long ago I remember my father saying, "I don't know how you can teach those special children, you have no patience!"
Actually I can be patient but it isn't always easy for me. It is something I am continually working on or I should be working on. My lack of patience often has me not following things in order for instance.
I am not good at waiting. And watercolour painting requires waiting and it requires patience with myself, my lack of skill etc. I also have to contend with that fear it isn't going to look right. And in a way it may be that unwillingness to go through the steps, put in the effort. My perfectionism comes out in be just saying let's just not do it.
In a class you generally have other people encouraging you, alone you have to be your own encourager. Maybe that is why some kids don't get their homework done!!!
I think this is one reason I always liked going to work as opposed to the idea of working at home or on my own.
|using Waterlogue app|
I actually have things I enjoy doing on my own but when I am doing something challenging to me I seem to need that encouragement of others. I find it hard to struggle alone and not just give up or take the easy way out.
But as I was having difficulties yesterday, I was also thinking, "This is good because now I know what I need to ask in class" I can show our instructor where my struggles are and ask for suggestions. Not really very different to Grade 11 Algebra class with Mr. Cochrane. Several of my friends wouldn't even attempt the problem they were so math phobic but it didn't bother me to get it wrong and find out what I needed to do to make it right then I would explain the whole thing to them. My early teaching moments…
So I am trying to learn to have patience and not be afraid to "screw up". And yes, I am looking forward to art class today.